In my dream the night before last, I kept finding babies. Some evil person had been stealing them and then leaving them to die. I seemed to always be the one to find them. Somehow I would find the parents and would return their babies. They had been so frantic with worry.
One baby seemed to matter more to me than the rest. I think it was a boy. I felt very motherly toward him and wanted desperately to be able to nurse him but was unable. His father came for him and I didn’t want to let go. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and know that he was safe. I didn’t want to say good-bye but knew that I had to. I knew it was the only real choice I had, the right thing to do. His father was a good man with a good face and loved his son very much.
The babies of last night’s dream came second to this part however:
There were hundreds of elephants being kept in a small area. It was horrible to see them that way so I decided to go against the grain and help. Somehow I managed to remove whatever boundary it was that kept them from roaming the rest of the land. As soon as I did that, they came charging toward me to run free. People were yelling for me to get out of there or I would surely be trampled and killed beneath the stampede. But it was too late; they were too close, too fast. So I kept on, flying (hey, it’s a dream) about head level to the adult elephants – only a few feet ahead of them. Feet soon became mere inches. I remember a great feeling of adrenaline, but not fear. I knew I would survive it. Suddenly I felt a large trunk swing up and smack into my back. It was done to help me. I was propelled further forward by it – keeping me safe. Eventually, the stampede stopped. There was no more land for them to run over.
I went to a tall overhang and looked out over them. There were so many and even on this land that was now several times larger than the previous lot they were on, it still seemed much to small. They need more, I thought. They should be free. I looked off to the side of the lot and saw a closed in area of workers. They seemed irritated with what I had done, but I was unsatisfied. I had to do more.
I got a hold of a chainsaw and cut at what I thought to be holding them in. I looked so small. I was only a child in this part of the dream. I cut through it and it fell to the ground. A worker looked at me with shock and worry in his eyes. I had unleashed something. I couldn’t see it but I knew it was there. It was only one, but I could feel the enormity of it.
Large blades fell from the sky. One by one each elephant fell to its death. I felt my heart sink at the sight. Then blades were thrown from the sky at the people – each one falling to their end.
One pair of people stands out to me. They were lovers. They stood in an embrace, passionately kissing each other knowing they were about to die. They ended the kiss and said a few encouraging words to one another, almost as though they thought there was still a chance. Then a blade landed in the side of the woman’s neck and for a moment all was still as her eyes went wide and stared into his face. Somehow she saw the blade that was meant for him coming down and with her last bit of life, she took a blade that she was holding and out of love swept it across him. They fell together.
I was still on the overhang, unharmed and unthreatened watching all of this occur. I could do nothing. I was powerless to stop it. I had only wanted to do what was right. I had only wanted to help, to set them free and now everything around me was laid to waste. Any victory I had felt was replaced by guilt.
I was alone.